Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
I lost my shit at self-governing snakes.
"Only thinks of you as a friend "
"i wish pokemon were real!"
beedrill is three feet tall
yeah but lets be real here if it meant I could live in a world with completely free healthcare and take tours across entire countries on foot with superpowered animal/else companions I would fight a hundred fucking beedrill at once naked with only a butter knife
not to mention a beedrill would probably be a gr8 friend if you just gave them a little bit of honey to eat
I want a regular family sitcom with cheap jokes and laughing tracks, which gradually get more and more disturbing until it turns to a psychological horror film with the laughing tracks still going
ernest hemmingway was so renowned for his brevity that he could write a moving and compelling story using only six words:
"for sale: baby shoes, never worn."
i have bested hemmingway by creating another, even more heartwrenching story, using only five words: